From Custard Creams to Christmas Chaos: Graham’s Great Present Unwrapping Scandal

Hello everyone, Graham here. Wow… this Christmas malarkey is amazing, now I finally understand why the humans lose their minds over it every December! I don’t even know where to begin. The run-up to the big day was so much fun! We went to Danny’s school Christmas fair, and I watched Ava and Danny squealing with excitement on all the rides while I bravely guarded the hot chocolate smells. I loved seeing all the sparkly, twinkling lights on the little stalls - so pretty! And then… we stumbled across a dog treat stand. Mum let me sniff out what I wanted, and I chose some hand-baked treats and some natural pigs’ ears… oh boy, were they yum! I am still thinking about them now, salivating at the memory. Yummy in my tummy! We also got to see Ava sing and dance with some of her nursery friends in their festive jumpers... I cried internally (in a manly way). 

However, my friends, the fun didn’t stop there! Mum has done enough Christmas baking to feed the whole village and even baked me a dog-friendly Yule log! It was so delicious, I strongly suspect I may have gained a few festive pounds, but sacrifices must be made. Every morning, I would accompany Ava and Danny on the hunt for a small elf thing. One day, it had actually taken over my food tin and made a right old mess. Everyone found it hilarious… I did not. Come on, little elf, this is my turf! I kept my thoughts to myself though, as Mum said the elf reports back to Santa Paws, and friends, that is one dude not to be messed with. He controls the presents. Absolute power. Ava told me he knows if you’ve been bad or good… I do hope he was asleep when I accidentally ate onions, or trailed mud through the house like a festive crime scene. 

Mum sat us all down to write letters to Santa. Danny asked for a new bike and Ava asked for a dolls’ house. Mum even wrote a letter for me… I don’t think she’s realised there’s a very well-articulated greyhound under her roof, I can read and write, you know! She requested a new toy for me and all the custard creams in the world, fair play, Mum, you know the way to my heart. A woman of taste. 

Then the big event finally arrived, and I was just as excited as Ava and Danny! Mum bought us all matching pyjamas, and yes, I got my very own pair too. Fashion icon behaviour. She set the camera timer so we could all pose in front of the Christmas tree together. I had to stay very still, which resulted in me receiving quite a few bribe treats; again, I’m not complaining.

 Ava and Danny then put out a glass of milk, a mince pie, and a carrot for Santa and his reindeer friends. Ava suggested we also leave out a custard cream in case Santa wanted to try my favourite treat. Mum agreed and added one to the plate. This haunted me all night. I also guarded it by staring at it intensely for several hours. Security level: elite. 

Later, when it was time for bed, I got a very special treat, I was allowed to sleep in Mum and Dad’s room! Mum said it was so we “didn’t disturb Santa.” I didn’t fully understand the logic, but I accepted it immediately and assumed my position. 

I tried to sleep. I really did. But all I could think about was that custard cream. Calling to me. Whispering my name. After what felt like several emotional lifetimes, I quietly got up and tip-toed downstairs. And that’s when I saw them… SO MANY PRESENTS. Under the tree. Glorious. Sparkly. Crinkly. A wrapper-lover’s paradise. But then I noticed something even more shocking. 

Santa had only eaten HALF of the custard cream. 

HALF. 

This was deeply suspicious behaviour and frankly quite rude. I gave the presents a quick sniff for safety reasons, obviously. Then one corner of the wrapping paper accidentally got caught on my nose. And then another. And then somehow one present became two… and two became lots… I don’t fully understand how it happened. Science will have to explain it. I was having the BEST time of my life. 

And then… 

THE BIG LIGHT CAME ON. I was CAUGHT. Mum looked absolutely horrified. Dad was laughing so hard he had to lean on the wall. I stood there with wrapping paper stuck to my paw, completely confused by their mixed reactions. Mum was whisper-shouting that she was “very disappointed” and that everything needed re-wrapping before Ava and Danny woke up. 

Dad did not stop laughing. Mum did not stop sellotaping. I supervised. Bravely. The next morning, everyone came downstairs, and Ava and Danny started opening their presents like nothing had happened. I acted innocent. Very innocent. Extremely innocent. Olympic-level innocence. 

And then… I got my own present too. Mum did look at me and say, “Does he really deserve it after last night?” and Dad said I deserved it. And I wagged my tail VERY hard. 

I received a big fluffy turkey toy that squeaked every time I bit it, Santa clearly knows me very well! Maybe… just maybe… I will forgive him for only eating half of the custard cream. The festive fun continued as Nanny and Grace arrived! Grace was wearing a festive jumper and Mum brought out the matching one for me, we looked ridiculously cool and very cosy in our Christmas knits. Everyone pulled Christmas crackers, put on silly hats, and laughed until their sides hurt. Then a MASSIVE turkey was placed on the table, it looked majestic and smelled illegal. Mum plated up dinner for Grace and me too: turkey, carrots, cabbage, a Yorkshire pudding and gravy. I ascended emotionally. Absolutely delicious - full credit to Chef Mum! 

After all the food, the family gathered to play board games. I have no idea what they were playing, but there was laughter, shrieking and someone shouting “cheat!” Me and Grace flopped on the sofa in a full turkey-dinner coma ... what a way to live. The whole experience was magical, 10/10 I would absolutely do Christmas again. Well, peeps, I’m nearing the end of this blog, and we’re now preparing for New Year’s Eve in this household. Dad says there will be more fireworks. Honestly, I am not worried. I am prepared. I am seasoned. Loud bangs mean nothing to me now. 

This will be my last update of 2025, and it’s been the best year of my entire life. I got adopted into the most amazing family and I get to see my bestie Grace most weeks, what could be better than that? I’m also very excited for my birthday at the beginning of the year… my first EVER birthday in my new home! Anyway, I must be off, I’m about to loaf on the sofa all day with Ava and Danny. This strange in-between period of Christmas and New Year is very confusing; I don’t know what day it is, what time it is, or if breakfast is socially acceptable yet… but I’m having the best time. 

Speak soon. Love and Licks, Graham x