Spaghetti, Sausages and Small Me's – Graham’s Dog Park Adventure

Hello hoomans and fellow sofa-hogs, 

I’m back from an utterly exhausting adventure in what the humans call ‘The Dog Park’. I’m not sure why they call it that – it's mostly grass, smells of squirrels and is entirely too energetic for my liking (but I do enjoy the drama). So, as I sit back and get cosy, I thought I would update you on today’s happenings.  

It all started this morning when Mum and Dad dropped Ava and Danny off at a birthday party. I was in the back of the boot chilling away and thought we would just go home, but to my surprise, we ended up at a large, enclosed field with what I can only describe as a chorus of barking and lots of smells. Mum got me out the boot of the car while Dad went to pay for our hour. There were quite a few enclosed paddocks, like the ones at the kennels, but these were bigger. Mum said we were hiring one just for me, that did sound like fun!

We soon got into the field and mum brought some of my outdoor toys with me, oh boy, this is going to be fun, I thought. She let me off the lead, and I ran and ran to the end of the enclosed paddock. I was doing thundering zoomies, ears were flapping, legs flying, soul soaring! Mum and Dad were chuckling, and I must admit I ran even faster when I caught a spaniel in another enclosure watching me. Time to show them what a real dog can do... Zoooooommmmm. He was impressed; I could tell. Then, well that was that. I galloped back to my people who had just sat down on the bench with their takeaway coffee, and I laid by their feet. Tongue hanging out, panting and ready for some sleep. I closed my eyes. Dad started to get up saying something about he'd booked this for an hour, and I had only been running for 2 minutes. He enticed me by throwing my frisbee, ball and even a cuddly ... nope Dad, I am zonked!!  

I tried my hardest to get a peaceful nap in, but if it wasn’t Dad pestering me to play and make the most of the space, it was Mum running around herself seeing if I would chase her. Silly woman, doesn’t she know I would outrun her? In the end they both admitted defeat and put my lead on to head back. Just as we were about to leave, we bumped into some other dogs and their owners. Now, this is where the real fun began! 

 First, a small creature approached. Long body, tiny legs and an expression that said, “I run this park”. Mum loosened my lead so I could put my head down to sniff him. His tail was wagging, and he seemed very friendly. I sniffed and said, “Excuse me, friend, what are you?” 

“I’m a sausage dog,” he said, completely seriously. 

A sausage? A dog? My whole worldview tilted. You see, in our house sausages live in frying pans and are never expected to bark. I stared at him for quite some time, trying to work out how he avoided being served with mashed potatoes. 

Before I could ask about condiments, I saw something even more unsettling. 

A smaller version of me.  

Imagine a greyhound but smaller (and somehow even smarter!). I stared at him. He stared back. We circled each other like long-lost twins in a supermarket car park. A mini me! 

“That’s a whippet, Graham, it’s like you!” Mum said, like it explained anything. How can a me be so not-me but still me? I sat down and contemplated the whippet. He blinked once, then ran in a circle and began shivering. Mum and the whippet's owner thought it was hilarious and began to take pictures of us two together. He introduced himself as Willie the Whippet, I just found it so odd he was so like me but tiny, poor fella, how will he reach the custard creams on the counter?  

Mum and the lady who owned Willie spent a fair while chatting away about our differences and likenesses. Mum was saying about the homing kennels and how supported the family felt by Linda Biscuits. The lady even wrote down Linda’s number, she might be thinking of getting a little and large!!  

We soon carried on walking towards the food truck as Dad wanted to get some chips for the ride home, I'd hoped they’d get me some nuggets too. We strolled over and queued up for the food. I suddenly found something sniffing my butt. I turned round and I swear I am not making this up – along came a giant noodle dog. In fact, he looked like a walking mop, like the one Mum uses for the kitchen floor sometimes when I’ve had an accident. 

The dog (well, I thought it was a dog) had dreadlocks everywhere and was super chilled, she didn’t have a care in the world. I wagged my tail and tried to get to know her more. Mum turned round and began speaking to the owner. The mop dog – which I found out was a Komondor said, “Hi my names Spaghetti what’s yours?’ Sorry what? Did you say SPAGHETTI !!  

Now, I ask you... what is a greyhound to do? 

I took one sniff and may have gently tried to nibble on a dreadlock, just to check. It was not spaghetti. It was a dog. And Dad very loudly said, “GRAHAM! WE DO NOT EAT OTHER DOGS’ HAIR”. I was mortified! Way to go Dad, thanks for embarrassing me in front of spag bol. I introduced myself and said that I was a Greyhound.  

Spaghetti laughed and said, “What kind of a name is Graham?” .... says the popular Italian pasta dish! 

Everyone stared. Spaghetti looked deeply unimpressed. I must admit I was kind of bored so laid down on the grass while Dad got his chips and, of course, nuggets for me and we made our way back to the car.  

I tucked into my nugs before we set off and we headed back to fetch Ava and Danny from the party.

When we got back, I headed immediately to my blankets and began the noble task of snoozing, and I decided to update you guys on my findings.  

To recap: 

• Sausages are dogs now. 
• I have a miniature version of myself out there. 
• Not all spaghetti is edible. 
• Zoomies are exhausting. 

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  Anyways friends, I am tired after my manic day of meeting new dog breeds and zooming around the dog park. It’s been a blast, and I can’t wait to go back again- let’s hope we can bring Grace next time. She won’t believe me that there are food dogs out there, from sausages to spaghetti, what a time to be alive! Speak soon, love and licks, Graham x